


Get that camera out of my face or so help me

by Keeblo



Series: Basically the best couple in all of the land [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Job, Dave is a hispter, Fucking, John is a nerd, M/M, Photographing/Video recording sexual activities, i guess, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:00:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1781602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keeblo/pseuds/Keeblo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A request that I got:<br/>How about something with Dave snapping pictures of John. Like, near constantly. And John trys to be all "bluh dave, fuck off you big loser, get that camera off my face!" (HA! like it'd actually be directed at his face, let's be honest) and acts annoyed, but oops, that's definitely a boner he's sporting. Then Dave proceeds to take pictures and/or video tape them while they frickfrack. Like a boss. Or a dweeb, you know, whatevs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get that camera out of my face or so help me

**Author's Note:**

> Fun, fun, fun

Dave may or may not have had a weird obsession with taking pictures of John. He had albums full of the pictures whether they were stupid or not (though the stupid ones were honestly his favorite). But what could he say? The hipster douche in him always awakened in the presence of John, so he just  _had_ to. 

He always just figured John was cool with it because he never said anything (and Dave usually didn’t have his phone shoved into his face) so he’s a bit surprised when John glares at him and swats his arm.

"Dave, will you stop that! Why are you taking pictures of me you loser?" 

Dave raises an eyebrow and swats John as well, going straight back to taking pictures of him. It’s not even like they were in some public place. Nope. They were at a hotel because of some stupid nerd convention or something that John had forced him to go to. Or, well. Dave didn’t want to be left at home alone while John left so he’d tagged along.

"I’m not doing anything. Calm down." John’s cheeks puff out in exasperation and he pushes Dave’s phone out of his face again.

"You are too you ass. Why don’t you go take pictures of other people or something?" John huffs and tries to focus on the tv again from where he had been watching a movie.

"Because that would be stupid when you’re right here and I can take pictures of you." Admittedly, it was just Dave’s excuse for practically sitting on top of the brunet.

"Fuck off Dave, I don’t want my picture taken, blugh!" John attempts pushing Dave out of his way, covering his face in the process which only serves to have the blond wrestle his way onto his lap as he continues taking pictures.

"With your dirty mouth I probably could." Dave snorts and puts a hand on John’s face, "Don’t move." 

 John’s jaw is completely slack because that is by far the stupidest thing Dave has said in the last five minutes. And despite his slight annoyance with his boyfriend trying to take his picture, his cheeks tint lightly.

"You know you’ve got like, the perfect porn mouth right? Blowjobs? Of course, it was made for it. Moaning because you’re being fucked into a stupor? Absolutely hot. You’re eating fruit snacks and not sharing? A catastrophe." Dave flicks John’s arm at the last one as he tries to snatch one of John’s fruit snacks.  

"Shut up Dave! Your stupid is showing again." He grumbles as he tries to ignore the fact that his dick seems to want into the conversation. "And I do not. My mouth is completely normal and not at all perfect for porn!"

Dave rolls his eyes. It’s not his fault that it’s true. John has a mouth that needs to be photographed. Or else how would he get to enjoy it when John’s gone?

"Uh, these pictures would beg to differ. Man, I bet if I showed you while it was in action you’d believe me. You’d be all like ‘oh Dave, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you when you said I had a porn mouth! Let me suck your dick!’" Dave puts his hands on his cheeks, mouth in an o shape as he mocks John.

"Seriously? You’re doing this because you want your dick sucked?" John wouldn’t put it past Dave…but he was trying to be irritated and not horny!

"Maybe. But when is anything I do not related to wanting my dick sucked?" 

"You have a point there. But I’m not sucking your dick, Dave." Dave whines and shakes John by the shoulders when he feels the familiar press of John’s erection against his crotch.

"Why not? Because we’re in a hotel and we might be heard?" His eyebrows raise and he purposefully crowds John, wiggling around in his lap.

John flushes and pushes Dave away with a hand on his cheek, “Well for one. And two is because you’re dumb. Bluh bluh huge dick.” 

"Do you want my huge dick in you John? Are you trying to tell me something? What is it boy? John is in total denial about wanting me to screw him? And he’s going to suck my dick after?" Dave puts a hand around his ear like he’s trying to listen to something quiet.

"Fuck off you dick hole." John shuffles back as much as he can on the bed with Dave sitting on him, kicking his legs a little.

"I would fuck off John, but for some reason fucking  _you_  is much more appealing. How ‘bout we truce and you let me get on with that?” John doesn’t bother with a reply; simply huffs and crosses his arms over his face.

"Is that a go on Dave I hear?" Dave pokes at John’s exposed tummy.

"Ugh! Fine you insufferable prick. But don’t be embarrassed when you’re not as good of a lay as you think you are." John’s resistance is kind of turning the blond on.

"Sweet. But I’m such a great lay John. You don’t even  _know_.” John snorts out an amused breath as Dave does something on his phone.

After a moment Dave tosses the thing to the side and presses his hands to John’s ribs and wastes no time in grinding against him. Already sporting a decent erection, John groans, though part of it is because of Dave’s hands pushing his stomach in due to his weight.

The movie playing in the background is the only sound apart from the few grunts and groans exchanged between the two as Dave begins to get hard as well.

"So how long are you going to do this exactly? Cause I thought you said you’d be screwing me?" 

Dave grins smugly down at John and slinks down until his chest is on the brunet’s.

"Impatient much?" The blond’s laughter washes over John’s warmed cheeks.

"No. You’re just really slow and dodgy. I bet you don’t even know what to do, do you? C’mon Dave, admit it, you don’t know how to fuck." Dave rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, the end nearly touching John.

"Nah. But I guess if you’re in such a hurry I can oblige and take you to paradise." He wiggles his eyebrows before rolling off of John and walking over to his suitcase to find lube and a condom. 

John rolls his eyes and looks at Dave with quirked eyebrows as he catches his breath.

"Okay big guy, strip your fine ass down and turn over. Ass up to good ole Dave-y. Show mama the goods." 

"You’re about to be blue balled so hard Dave, don’t even with me. And that is so fucking creepy." John’s nose scrunches as he sits up and starts taking off his clothing one piece at a time.

"You underestimate me John." Dave follows suit and pulls off his sweatshirt and tee shirt, followed by his jeans and socks.

"No,  _you_  overestimate yourself.” John tosses his own shirt at Dave’s face and admires his lean body for a moment as the blond fumbles to get it off of himself. Once Dave is freed from John’s monster shirt, he flips the bird and pushes his boxers down his thighs to the floor.

John is just taking his shorts off by the time Dave is clambering back up onto the bed and smacking his thigh.

"Ow! What the hell?" Dave tuts.

"You’re taking too long dude. You can’t do this to someone with ADD who hasn’t taken their meds." 

John rolls his eyes, grumbles, and strips naked so Dave will shut up. He gets smacked again, though that time on the ass and he glares at the blond.

"Butt up in the air, John." That totally doesn’t turn John on even more. Nope. Not at all. But he turns over and makes a point of sticking his rear end up and moving it around.

"This good enough  _Dave_? Or should I do a headstand while I’m at it?” 

Dave snorts out a laugh and rubs one of John’s tan ass cheeks, grinning at the small red patch from where he’d smacked him.

"Nah, this is good. Nice view too." He trails his fingers down the curve of one of John’s cheek before poking his perineum. It causes the brunet to jump a little in surprise, obvious goosebumps spreading down his thighs and back.

After that he takes no time in pouring a little of the lube onto John’s entrance and then his fingers, rubbing at the muscle before pressing a finger in. As soon as it’s entirely in John, he can feel the clench of his hole on him, trying to remove the digit and push it further in in reflex.

John shudders and sighs against the odd feeling of Dave’s finger in him, experimentally rolling his hips against it and enjoying the feeling. 

Dave starts moving his finger rather quickly, not bothering to stretch out the prep time any further than it has to be. 

The second finger goes in just as easily as the first; the tightness around the base of his fingers is heightened, but he can feel the slow give as the muscle relaxes around the digits.

From there the stretching is relatively simple so he rubs the pads of his fingers against the insides of John, feeling for the familiar walnut sized area.

"Right there Dave, oh my god, yeah right there." John’s hips shift, pressing back against Dave’s fingers and he grins. He reaches for his phone as he continues to fuck John on his fingers and turns on the camera so he can take pictures of John’s face.

It doesn’t take much to satiate Dave’s need to photograph John and he tosses his phone back to the side once he’s finished for the moment.

Dave strokes his fingers into the area of John’s prostate almost mercilessly; his movements ranging from idle stroking to pressing and rubbing circles to coax out long, drawn out moans from the brunet.

John is panting hard with his face pressed into the pillow, fingers gripping at its edges tightly. The pleasure from Dave’s fingers in him is a rapidly rising one; surprisingly so. It’s unlike when he simply jerks off. The heat is more intense and it rolls through him in waves from his lower back up and through his chest and shoulder.

At some point without even noticing it, John had begun to jerk in short movements whether it was his fingers or the corner of his mouth or some other part of him. It doesn’t worry him too much though as his mind clouds over at the intensity of his nearing orgasm.

"Dave, if you plan on actually fucking me I suggest you lose the fingers and get going." John sighs heavily as he tries to resist the urge to press into the fingers or grab himself and start jerking it until he’s done.

Dave acknowledges John with a hum and removes his fingers. He wipes the lube on his thigh with a small scrunch of his nose and opens the condom to roll on. He puts a little more lube in his fingers to coat his erection before sitting up on his knees, a hand on John’s hip as he lines up and presses into him.

The pleasure from earlier lingers before swelling in John- his prostate seems oversensitive and the twitching from earlier starts again with a little more force.

Dave reaches for his phone again as soon as he’s fully seated in John with a sigh. He can already see John, his mouth open just like he likes and turns on the video setting of his phone and hitting record. With a hand still on the brunet’s hip he starts thrusting and working up a rhythm. 

Through the screen of the phone he can see John, each of his beautiful open mouthed moans and jerks are captured to be relayed later if Dave wishes it. He sucks his cheeks in between his teeth to keep from out right grinning as John’s hand comes up behind him to grip Dave’s thigh, desperately trying to pull him closer and touch him more all at once.

John is suffocating. He’s sure of it. The air around him feels too thick and he just  _can’t breathe._ He can feel the waves of pleasure in his chest as his heart beats hard enough to raise his skin.

"Do you like that John? Are you glad you let me woo you with my talk of screwing you?" Dave’s lips turn up at the corners, his eyes always switching between John and the screen of his phone. 

John licks his lips wet. “I would, but you’re still talking really stupidly, so I dunno.” He laugh is deep and airy as his fingers curl on the pillow harder.

Dave doesn’t bother with a reply as he continues fucking John, his own pleasure coiling in his abdomen.

The start of his orgasm is slow. John knows it because suddenly he’s locking up as his body goes cold, his breath catching. Then he’s letting out a loud moan and his back is arching, the pleasure swelling to heat as he shivers intensely, jerking as well as he comes in short bursts.

Dave seems unaffected as John slumps under him, still shivery and feeling oversensitive. A moment later the blond pulls out and smacks John lightly on the ass. The brunet immediately drops the rest of the way to the bed in a satisfied pile of Egbert mush.

"Alright Aurora, you promised me some of that good Egbert mouth on my dick after I rocked your world. And one of them is done." Dave sits back on the bed, shoulders touching the headboard as he slides the condom off and tying it off before setting it aside to throw away later.

"U-gh. Just let me sleep for a little bit Dave. I’m tired." Dave rolls his eyes and pinches John’s shoulder so he sits up. "Ow, what the fuck! That hurt you jerk." John rubs his tender arm and grumbles as he moves between Dave’s thighs.

Dave resists the urge to cackle as John takes off his glasses and sets them to the side.

"You’re lucky if I don’t bite your dick off for that." Dave raises an eyebrow as he trains the phone on John’s face.

"If you do that I’m tossing you out of that window." He motions to the large glass windows nearly taking up an entire wall. John rolls his eyes and leans down to take Dave into his mouth.

His movements are slow at first and he still occasionally shivers or jerks as he bobs his head on Dave’s length. Dave sighs out a groan and fists a hand into John’s dark hair to help guide him. John’s about to flip the blond off when he looks up, only to see the phone pointed straight at him again.

He makes a noise in his throat, his eyes never leaving the phone as his pace stutters a bit.

"Keep going, that feels good." Dave’s eyes lower as the heat builds in his groin. He licks his lips as he watches John, his lips full on Dave’s dick as it slides past them over and over.

"You look really good sucking cock John, you know that? Really good. Like I said, porn mouth." John rolls his eyes and huffs a breath through his nose.

The brunet rests his hands on the inner part of Dave’s thighs to steady himself as he keeps sucking him. His tongue flattens and rubs against Dave’s shaft, lips sucking roughly as his cheeks hollow on the blond’s tip. He can feel Dave give a slight roll of his hips and moves back down at a snail’s pace with an almost upward twitch of his lips.

Dave would call John a tease or roll his hips up into his mouth if he wasn’t so close at that point. John’s ministrations are met with low moans by Dave. He admires his boyfriend further as his cheeks flush at Dave’s sounds.

John pulls off and sucks the underside of the tip of Dave’s cock, grinning as he trails kisses down his shaft and to his sac where he licks and sucks until the fingers in his hair are tightening almost painfully.

When he puts Dave back into his mouth the blond is panting heavily and muttering curses and praise under his breath. So naturally John speeds up, wanting to see Dave come undone at his orgasm.

"Fuck, that feels so good…I’m close." Dave’s head tips back as the heat rises in him to the point of climax.

When he orgasms he lets out a pathetic moan before pulling John back by the fist in his hair. John makes a face as Dave comes on his face, eyes closing until he’s sure he’s not about to get blinded by semen, before opening them and glaring at Dave.

"That’s not funny you dick. You could’ve  _killed_  me.” Dave rolls his eyes as he catches his breath and ends the recording, only to take a picture of John with his face painted by his seed.

"But you look good, so I guess it evens out." John scoffs as Dave traces his thumb over his lip, pushing some of the ejaculate past his lips. John nearly pulls back but resigns and licks Dave’s finger clean before pulling back. Dave just barely manages to get a picture of the scene before slumping against the headboard.

"I’m going to clean this off and when I get back you better not be asleep. I’m going to get my post sex cuddles or else dick wad." Dave snorts as John pads off towards the bathroom. He goes through the photos and even a little of the video until John comes back.

After the brunet climbs into the bed and gets under the covers, Dave does the same thing after setting his phone aside.

"I still think you have a porno mouth."

"Shut up Dave." John pulls Dave close to him so he can cuddle him, being the big spoon in their lazy embrace.

"Only because you sucked my dick so good." That earns him a smack to the side and Dave snorts out a laugh.

At least he got his dick sucked.

**Author's Note:**

> Support my writing by commissioning me, sending me requests, and/or following my main blog keeblochan.tumblr.com or my davejohn blog hellagaydave.tumblr.com


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